10th Sep 2024 Gemini 1.5 Pro
Chris Hardy, the creator of Embodied Relating, joins the Dandelion Podcast to discuss his innovative approach to personal development and conscious sexuality. Hardy's journey began with a fascination for contact improvisation, a form of dance that emphasises physical connection and improvisation. He observed a correlation between individuals' movement patterns and their relational dynamics, recognising the body's potential to reveal unspoken truths about how we connect with others.
This realisation led him to develop Embodied Relating, a practice designed to explore these dynamics through movement. Hardy explains, "It's a technique...where we're trying to learn about our relating dynamics, our patterns of relating, like the way that we meet other people." He emphasises the significance of a "body-first" approach, contrasting it with traditional talk therapy:
"I think we live predominantly...from our head and from our trying to make sense of the world...in a cognitive way, which is very valid and useful. And then sometimes I think it's quite interesting to try to go body first."
Hardy's workshops guide participants through carefully crafted movement exercises that isolate specific relational dynamics such as trust, attachment styles, and dominance/submission. By stripping away the complexities of everyday interactions, these exercises offer a unique opportunity to observe and understand our habitual patterns.
Hardy acknowledges the potential vulnerability associated with somatic practices, particularly for those new to exploring relational dynamics through movement. He emphasises his commitment to creating inclusive workshops, stating, "I'm intentionally making the workshops...at least like a couple of hours or two or three hours. So we've got time and space to like arrive in the room, to feel my facilitation technique, to speak about consent, to speak about boundaries." This thoughtful approach ensures participants feel safe and supported as they engage in potentially sensitive explorations.
Hardy employs a gradual progression, starting with solo exercises and gradually introducing partner work and physical contact. He consistently encourages participants to check in with themselves and their partners, honoring individual boundaries and offering alternative ways to engage with the material. This careful scaffolding allows individuals to participate at their own pace, fostering an environment of respect and mutual understanding.
Beyond Embodied Relating, Hardy also facilitates workshops and coaching programs focused on ethical hedonism, a concept that resonates with his passion for conscious relating. Drawing on his experiences with Hedoné, a sex-positive event focused on intimacy and personal growth, Hardy created a program designed to guide individuals toward fulfilling and responsible experiences within these unique spaces.
He observed a need for practical tools and support for navigating the complexities of ethical relating in environments that challenge societal norms. "Often in these kinds of spaces, there's lots of conversations to be had to try to ensure that any relating that takes place feels safe and feels kind of that everybody's in agreement and feels consensual." Hardy equips participants with a clear framework for communication, emphasising the importance of honesty, consent, and self-awareness:
"So one of them is...teaching a short conversation structure...to speak about what we're looking for, what we're excited about, what are our desires, our boundaries, where are our edges, what are our vulnerabilities, what we're feeling unsure about, and what are our needs."
Hardy views both Embodied Relating and ethical hedonism as forms of activism, challenging the conventional understanding of social change. He posits that by cultivating self-awareness, presence, and mindful relating, individuals can enact positive change within themselves and their communities. He sees this inward focus as a necessary counterbalance to the often-overwhelming demands of external activism, stating, "I feel like particularly with the embodied relating practice, I think we're living at a time where we are slowly becoming increasingly disembodied."
He emphasises the importance of prioritising practices that foster connection, presence, and a deeper understanding of ourselves and others:
"And so I think somehow developing this sense of comfort, this more embodied approach to living for me, it feels like a...form of activism...that actually I'm going to, I'm going to try to prioritise these things that feel really healthy."
Looking towards the future, Hardy envisions expanding his work through various avenues. He plans to offer one-day retreats that combine Embodied Relating with other practices like Yin Yoga and sound healing, creating immersive experiences that facilitate deeper exploration and connection. He will also be sharing his expertise at festivals, leading workshops on contact improvisation and mindful touch.
Furthermore, Hardy is developing a six-part online course titled "Mindful Intimacy," aiming to make these transformative practices more accessible to a wider audience. This course will delve into the nuances of cultivating mindful relating, offering tools and insights for creating more fulfilling and conscious connections.